When I was a kid, I loved lacing up my Con's and going out to play basketball. I don't remember thinking about it, but Converse now seems like a bit of a strange name for a sneaker. A check of their website reveals that it was a family name that the company took on. I know that a lot of family names were also jobs in real life, Taylor, Baker, Woodman, and so on. We don't name anyone that way now, but it must have been important at some point to use the trade in the name.

I wonder if Mr. Converse came from a family of conversationists. If he did, what did a Conversationist do? I remember that the word conversation many centuries ago meant something closer to Conduct, and how we associate with one another.  For me, putting on my Con's was kind of a Fixin to Mixin thing. I was fixing to mix it up on the court with my friends. I loved it, good conduct good conversation, whatever.

The word Conversation means what it means today, talk. There is good conversation, no conversation and bad conversation. While it may not carry the same meaning as it once did, conduct, it still has a great result in peoples behavior or conduct. What you say is often going to get you a Newtonian action or reaction in someone or something else. Remember for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That may not translate into conversation very efficiently, but there is some truth to it.

Maybe that's why I am so slow to engage in some conversations. Fear of pushing someone away instead of drawing them closer. Fear of ridicule or scorn. Fear of Denial. I'm talking about conversations that need to take place because something is wrong. Something is out of place and I am required to go into the unknown to work things out. I have no protective clothing, nor do I have a backup team or plan to help me accomplish the conversation, I only have my emotional, creative and spiritual resources. But talk I must.

It used to be that these kinds of conversation billed themselves as confrontations. It was like gearing up for battle. I knew someone had done something wrong or said something hurtful and I was commissioned to defuse or neutralize the fallout. That always led to a
Rolaids dependency. I learned to pop Rolaids in flight school since there was so much stress that my stomach was constantly in turmoil. It's that way when I go to confront people about their problems as well. I keep a jar handy, you never know where conflict will pop up.

Lately these conversations have been turning from confrontations to collaborations. I think I'm changing a bit. I haven't needed to pop the antacids in anticipation of a fearful conversation. I've been more relaxed, even more confident, less worried about the outcome. I've had more of them in the last few months since I have more leaders to work with. Leaders get into more jams than non-leaders so there is some good that comes from leaders getting into jams, even though it doesn't feel like it at the time. At least they are leading. But they make a mess of things sometimes and so do I. That's when the talk needs to take place, in my head first and with my God, and then with the one who needs to collaborate with me.

I know a couple of things, some conversations do not need to take place and some do. Some are critical and we need to know how to distinguish that fact. We also need to know more about the art of Big Talk, not just Small Talk. Big Talk, those crucial conversations that can turn lose-lose situations into win-win situations is more important than ever and maybe as poorly understood or practiced as ever. We simply have to get better at talking with each other. Let's talk about it. Put your Con's on and Conversation up.