I've stopped counting the pastors who have left the ministry. Every one of them was/is special and I've watched them with interest and hopefulness. They have all been victims of role confusion to a large extent. The role they saw for themselves and the role their church saw for them somehow got crossed up. A church expects love, love expressed by your time, care, interest, respect and devotion to them and their families. Sometimes they expect too much, but they are entitled to expect a pastor that loves them.

I well remember an elder in a church many years ago that ate lobster. That was the rumor anyhow. As an assistant pastor, I was pretty sure the rumor was true. But it didn't fall to me to me to confront him about his eating habits. I've eaten lobster in my BC days, Before Church that is. It's like chewing on soft rubber and the stink goes with it. The butter that you trench it in tastes pretty good, but that's about it. Why he developed an interest in lobster is beyond me. He was an interesting guy, I liked him. But in a church of 800 or so, I really didn't think it was my job to straighten him out. I was finishing up my internship and the senior pastor had just left and we were waiting for a new one.

When he finally came, I was about to go to a new district, but I had two or three weeks of overlap. I watched the new senior pastor in that short time he was there preach a sermon about the downside of eating lobster. Hey, I recently had a sermon about meat and fish, so I'm not immune to stating clearly from the pulpit that there are some things that are good for you and some that are not. But I've been here almost 11 years, he was there 2 weeks.

I love these folks, I really do and I preached that sermon out of love for them. I can't stand seeing them hurt their chances at a long and abundant life. That senior pastor may have loved them, but at the risk of judging him, I don't really think so. I think he was just taking them on and letting them know that he was going to be a straight shooter.

Once again, I'm all for straight shooting, I just think you gotta love those you are willing to shoot at. That takes time. You've gotta give your members time to know that you are committed to them and willing to stand by them through thick and thin. You've just gotta love em, plain and simple.

Love is and has been the only thing that changes them. When my church members know I love them, they grant me the right and privilege to talk straight to them. I'm not saying it's easy, but without their permission to speak freely, change is unlikely. Change is hard enough as it is. But if I really am interested in their welfare and seeing the best in them, I will be willing to take the time to show them that I'm by their side for the long haul. They learn that I'm not going to hit and run from them in the pulpit, that I'll be around between sermons to work out the differences.

Let me say it straight if you are willing to hear it. Don't be a pastor if you are not willing to love the members. Make up your mind that you will give your life to them in service, listening, loving them when they are cruel, praising them when they are productive, encouraging when they are down, and enjoying them when they are cool. Just make up your mind to love them at all times and in all circumstances. It won't be easy. In fact, there is nothing harder than to love those who are trying to get rid of you. I've been there and failed and I've been there and succeeded. I know it's hard. But it is God's great command for those of us in the ministry. It's true for all, but doubly true for the pastor.

I didn't have much of a clue about what I was getting into when I started pastoring, I just wanted to help people. I still do. I love pastoring for that reason. Sometimes I don't like it for that reason, some people simply seem unhelpable. Whatever. I'll keep helping the ones I can, as long as Jesus gives me the courage to love. Pastor, love your people like there is no tomorrow. For some of them, you might be the first one, and maybe the last one.